Grooming is the process by which an offender draws a victim into an abusive and emotional/sexual relationship and maintains that relationship in secrecy. The shrouding of the relationship is an essential feature of grooming.
The grooming offender works to separate the victim from peers, typically by engendering in the persons’ sense that they are special to the them and giving a kind of love or attention that the person is lacking.
Stage 1: Targeting the victim
The offender targets a victim by sizing up the person’s vulnerability, emotional neediness, isolation and lower self-confidence.
Stage 2: Gaining the victim’s trust
The offender gains trust by watching and gathering information about the person, getting to know his needs and how to fill them. Offenders mix effortlessly with responsible caretakers because they generate warm and calibrated attention.
Stage 3: Filling a need
Once the offender begins to fill the persons needs, that they may assume noticeably more importance in the adults life and may become idealized. Gifts, extra attention, affection becomes more important in their self worth.
Stage 4: Isolating the adult
The groomer uses the developing special relationship with the adult to create situations in which they are alone together. This isolation further reinforces a special connection. This isolates the person further from the group they are in. A special relationship can be even more reinforced when an offender cultivates a sense in the vulnerable person that he is loved or appreciated in a way those others, not even parents or friends provide.
Stage 5: Sexualizing the relationship
At a stage of sufficient emotional dependence and trust, the offender progressively sexualizes the relationship.